Well here goes...
I'm new at this and I've no idea whether anyone might want to listen to my inner ramblings but it could be therapeutic so I'll give it a go.
There are just a few more days until the school holidays and I'm nervous that my expectations are too great. I have so many plans of interesting, fun and educational things to do with the children and I would love to acheive most of them. Life for me is not quite like that though.
For most of my adult life I have struggled with an unknown condition which is currently diagnosed as depression with severe fatigue. I am convinced that at some time in the future someone will be able to give me better answers than this but for now I manage with antidepressants and lots and lots of sleep. This label makes me nervous - I am not 'depressed' in the sense that many people who struggle with difficult lives, deaths and illness have a right to be. I am a happily married person with lovely children and financial security. I do not work for money, although I keep myself busy with voluntary work with children. Who could ask for more? And yet, without my medication there are days when I cannot get myself out of bed or when I feel like I am about to fall into the road. With my medication I am much more relaxed and balanced but am totally physically and mentally exhausted by noon.
Have started a new medication today. I hope this relieves the exhaustion. Only side effects so far seem to be a bit of general weakness and teeth clenching.
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